H. Alan HouckSeptember 12, 1955 - June 30, 2009
Daddy,
It's so hard to believe you're gone. Just last week we were all hanging out in the pool and in the rain. There's so much I want to say to you and I feel that this is going to be the best way to do it.
I know that God took you from us because you wouldn't have wanted to live hooked up to those machines. I wish that the doctors would have tried harder, I wish that you would have at least been alive long enough for us to say goodbye to you.
If there's one thing that I've learned through all of this, it's that the people in our lives are all amazing. The support that all of our friends and family have given to us has been unbelievable. Who would have known that somewhere near 700 people would have come to say goodbye to you.
I'm sure that you know how Ben and I felt about you as kids. You were scary and mean. And we both always wished you would have left us. The relationship that you and mom had when we were growing up was terrible. There were times when it was good for all of us, but we had a lot of bad times.
When you left and Ben and I were adults, we were glad but at the same time, my heart was broken. How could you have left me without saying goodbye? I was so angry with you and it took a long time for that hurt to go away. But we fixed things you and me. I was daddy's girl again.
I'm so glad that you and Ben fixed things. He was so angry with you too, because you hurt mom. But finally, on father's day this year, you guys really fixed things. You have no idea, or maybe you do, how much it means to him to have heard you say you're proud of him. Those are the words that he's going to cling to when he misses you. And he will.
I know that you loved mom, even though you had a hard time showing it. She is lost without you already. But I promise, I'll take care of her. We'll get everything straightened out and make sure that she has the support she needs. David, Denny & Donna, Tim & Anita, Tom & Carol, and Craig and Jan will take care of her. But so will her brothers and sister, and your family will, too.
I hope that you're looking down and enjoying the party that we've been having for you. Don't be mad because we cry, we're hurting and that's the only way to let out our grief. I know you and Pappy Harry are watching over us and protecting us.
The happiest memory of you that I'll have is that you walked me down the aisle at my wedding. I know that you loved Bobby as much as I do and you were proud of the choice that I made. Bobby is going to miss you, too. He loves you too.
I don't know what else to say now. I still believe that someone had to pull out in front of you because you could have driven home with your eyes closed. You wouldn't have wrecked unless someone caused you to. Only you will know what happened but I wish you could tell me. Hopefully you'll visit me in my dreams so that I can see your smile again.
I really wanted to give you grandchildren to spoil. I promise that when we do have kids that they will know what an amazing grandfather they had. They would have loved to swim and play with you.
I love you, Daddy. My life won't be the same without you.
I'll always be your little girl. Love you always,
Sassy
5 comments:
Sarah that is really beautiful and yes you made your uncle cry. I know that your dad is looking down and seeing the wonderful kids that he and your mom raised. I love you and hope that you are feeling ok to smile again. Your dad will always be there for you and love you. He loved to see you smile and was always very proud of you and Ben. Love you, call me if you need anything. Steve
I can't begin to imagine what your going through. The idea of losing my Dad is inconcievable. I call him everyday and sometimes I worry that I'm bugging him but not anymore. He's been calling ME pretty much everyday now. We were sitting around the fire tonight and I couldn't think of anywhere I'd rather be than right there with my Dad and I can just see your Dad looking down smiling and laughing. I cry for you when I think about how hard this must be. I wish I could help somehow...I just wanted to tell you that Alan helped me appreciate my Dad even more and treasure every single second I get to spend with him. Dad just loves you and your mom and brother he said how much Ben reminds him of Alan. We'll be here if you need ANYTHING.
Love
Sarah
My heart hurts for you as I read this. From your letter, it seems like we have A LOT in common.
My dad passed away (suddenly and under bad circumstances) in June 2008. Even though it gets easier, it still hurts. I'm so sorry for your pain. If it helps, you aren't alone.
I've read this before, Miss Sarah, but every few months I find myself coming back and reading it again. And every time I read it there are tears rolling down my face. I think about that noght, and how I was talking to you when it all happened, even though we didn't know it then. We still haven't gotten together for that lunch... I think about Michael and how much I miss him. I know it's been a while, but just thought I'd let you know this still hit's me the same way every time I read it.
I've read this before, Miss Sarah, but every few months I find myself coming back and reading it again. And every time I read it there are tears rolling down my face. I think about that noght, and how I was talking to you when it all happened, even though we didn't know it then. We still haven't gotten together for that lunch... I think about Michael and how much I miss him. I know it's been a while, but just thought I'd let you know this still hit's me the same way every time I read it.
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