Your senses are really something...

Today while I was driving home from school through little Clymer, PA, I smelled a fantastic smell! Someone was burning their wood fire place. I love that smell. It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside to smell it. Except for today...my brain went down a different path when I smelled that fire place. And well, you know how smells can trigger memories...

For whatever reason, the smell made me start to think about one of the last times I saw my dad. Back story: We were at my mom's and it was a beautiful sunny day sometime this past May. It wasn't the last time I saw him, but probably the time before that. Bobby and I went to the house to go swimming and my Aunt Karen and cousin Nova came to swim with us. We all swam and played in the pool and had lunch. We had brought some snacky things and a salad that I made for work the day before (for Memorial Day). Dad grilled some burgers and hot dogs and then he made some baked beans.
Well...that's what the fireplace smell reminded me of. The baked beans. The stupid, stupid, stupid baked beans. They were the WORST baked beans EVER!

Dad cooked a whole pound of ground beef then added a can of Bush's Maple and Bacon baked beans. If he had left them just like that, they would have been great. But no, Dad always had to "doctor things up." So, he tasted it and thought it needed something else, so he added some chocolate syrup (gross, I know). He still didn't like the way it was tasting so he added more things like ketchup and mustard, and finally he added MORE Maple Syrup. OhhhhhMG they were TERRIBLE! Normally, I don't eat baked beans...but because he worked so hard to make them, I had to try them. I did add some of the chopped onions that were meant for the hot dogs and more mustard..but nothing worked. They were just too sweet. Dad couldn't finish eating his and neither did anyone else...and yes, we all tried them. He took the bowl up to the fire pit and dumped them in an empty box from the cans of Miller Lite we were all drinking while we all laughed. He never burnt the box...he never had a chance.....so yes...the stupid baked beans made me cry today.
A month and a half later, Mom, Ben and I were burning things in the fire pit and there was the stupid box filled with the baked beans. Some of them were eaten, but not many...apparently the animals were pretty disgusted, too! Of course, I cried that day too.

Isn't it weird how certain smells can make you think of crazy things like that?? They trigger memories that get buried in our minds. As soon as the memory of the baked beans came to mind, the song Free Fallin' by Tom Petty came on the radio and that just made it worst. I cried the whole way home.

So today, this Daddy's girl is really missing her daddy.

Something to share

It's time for me to finally share this with you...I've avoided posting about this because I had a lot of false hope and was really let down.

For the past month and a half, I thought I was pregnant. But, as I found out Saturday...I'm not.

I was so excited and had already thought about how I was going to change our spare room into the nursery. I had already thought about the finish of the crib and the rest of the furniture. I was looking forward to traveling to the beach this summer and having my big belly and enjoying every moment of it.

The back story - I posted back in September that I was going off the pill...and I did. Life has been marvelous since then. My mood swings have decreased and I've not been so down-in-the-dumps. We aren't actively trying to have a child, but I can't really say that we're doing much to prevent it.

Anyway...I haven't had my period in 2 months, so I took a HPT 2 weeks ago...it was negative. But, I knew that annual appointment was coming up with Dr. Stever, so I figured I would talk to him about it. So, I did...he gave me a script for blood work and told me that depending on what the lab said, if I wasn't pregnant he would have to put me on meds to help me ovulate...which would be why I hadn't gotten my period in 2 months.

I went last Monday and had the blood drawn and waited the whole week to hear from Dr. Stever. He called me on Saturday night and told me that the blood tests were also negative for pregnancy. I was crushed!!!! It wasn't enough that the HPT was negative, but to hear the doctor say it made it even worse for me. What he did tell me is that my Thyroid levels were a little high and that I would have to have the blood work repeated.

Did I mention that I HATE needles?!?!

So...today I went and blood drawn again...now it'll be a waiting game to hear from him. I'm either going to have to go on medication to help me ovulate...or to lower my Thyroid levels.

And I know what you're thinking..."It'll happen when it's supposed to happen." I know that, but that's not what I wanted to hear from anyone. I wish someone would've said, it's okay to be angry, sad, and everything else that I was feeling. One of the girls at work said that she didn't think I was ready to have kids yet...but we've been together for 6 years and yes, I am ready.

I hope you understand why I couldn't share what was going on with me...I spent the past 2 months looking forward to something that I can't have yet because my body isn't working right. And I know it's going to be a few more months until we can think about trying because it'll take a while for the drugs to work. When I hear from Dr. Stever again, I'll let you know what my real problem is...and what the next step is so that we can have a little one sometime soon.

25 Random Things...about me

So this thing is all over Facebook...The idea is that if someone does it, they tag you and make you do it, too. Then you tag someone else. Well, I was tagged 5 times and it took me a week to do it, but I finished it tonight. So I thought I would post it here too...since I haven't posted in nearly a week. Happy reading


1. I dislike the color purple. I refused to wear it, with one exception. And that was for AJ and Brad's wedding, in Hawaii.

2. I'm a substitute teacher for 2 school districts, Westmont Hilltop in Johnstown, and Penns Manor. I love working with the kids, and that I can be with a different group of them everyday if I decide...but I'd rather have my own classroom.

3. When I'm not subbing, I work at AmbCoach...it's an ambulance billing company. Basically, if you take an ambulance we get your insurance information and bill your insurance company. It's pretty boring, but it pays my bills.

4. I want to be a mom in the worst way. Too bad Bobby isn't ready, cause we have a spare room that would make a perfect nursery :)

5. I have the names of my children picked out already. Don't ask me what they are...that's TOP SECRET!

6. I'm worried that I won't be able to have my own kids...my mom wasn't supposed to be able to have children, and her doctor told her it would never happen. Well, obviously that didn't happen...but what if it does to me?!

7. I don't have the best relationship with my parents. I think it's because they both worked so much when we were younger and I didn't get to spend enough time with them...I do try to talk to my mom everyday...even if it's for 2 minutes. At least we're trying.

8. I have a baby brother. We aren't really that close either. I wish I could change that, but we're just totally different people and have busy lives, so it makes things hard.

9. Unlike most people...I get along really well with my mother-in-law. She's awesome!

10. My sisters-in-law are awesome too. I couldn't ever ask for two better sisters or friends.

11. I have a scar on my chin from when I was 2. I fell between two stairs on a sliding board and landed on a platform...chin first. I cracked my chin open and all of my molars were cracked, too. I had most of them pulled and had 10 stitches in my chin.

12. I like to make jewelry. I've made a few pieces after I took a class in Arizona over Thanksgiving. I really enjoy it...and thought maybe I'd try selling some pieces eventually.

13. I like to take pictures. I wish I knew how to better use the settings on my camera to get the image I want.

14. My niece, Taryne, is the coolest kid ever. End of story.

15. I still have a dollar bill that's tied into a knot from the bridal dance at our reception. I found it in the bottom of my purse today. I knew it was there...I only have it because I can't get it untied...and we found it in the couch the week we moved into our new house.

16. I carry a leatherman/multi tool from Cabelas around in my purse. Because you never know when you're gong to need needle nose pliers, a knife, screwdriver, or a flashlight! I used it today to fix the zipper pull on my winter coat.

17. I don't sleep well...it takes me hours to fall asleep every night. Of course, to make up for the fact that I fall asleep around 3 am, I sleep until 10...unless I have to sub in the morning.

18. I'm addicted to blogging. I read them everyday...and yes, I have one. I update it at least once a week.

19. Before I die, I want to go to Spain.

20. I listen to a lot of different genres of music. I thank my parents for that.

21. I like to watch TV. I always watch Food Network, HGTV, pretty much everything on ABC, Don't Forget the Lyrics and CASH CAB! **** And yes, I can't forget Lingo. Thanks Teri ****

22. I LOVE to cook. I like to try new recipes, as long as Bobby will eat whatever it is I make...he's really picky though.

23. When I was in Jr. and Sr. High, I had a crush on Bobby's best friends. I didn't even know him then...but they were all in our wedding.

24. Planning our wedding was super stressful, but I'd do it all over again because it was so much fun. I was actually kinda sad that it was over. I miss having something to plan for.

25. I bite my nails and pick at my cuticles. It's a bad habit, but I can't help it.

It's not been the best day

I'm not feeling the greatest today...not sick, just down in the dumps.

Sara and Tyson are coming for dinner tomorrow night, and to see the new house, which I'm really excited about...but...I cam home with some great ideas for dinner tomorrow night, that I'd really like to try, but Mr. I'm-too-picky-to-try-something-new totally shot me down. I want to make turkey meatballs with a little bit of spinach in them, along with a great cheese sauce, over a bed of pasta, and a potato-green bean salad to go with the meatballs. He said "I'll eat the pasta..." which made me so angry because he won't try anything new.
I'm so frustrated. I can't make something new because he won't eat it. Which means I'm stuck eating spaghetti and meatballs, or alfredo, or pizza because he won't try something even once.
I am almost ready to cry over something as simple as a dinner with friends. Ugh!

I think I'm just going to make it and he'll have to get over it. If he doesn't eat it, it's not my problem. He can just be hungry.

I have to go to the grocery store to pick up a few things...here are the recipes, courtesy of RachelRayMag.com

Super-Size Turkey Meatballs with Spinach and Cheese
Rachael Ray
30-Minute Meals

Serves 4
One 10-ounce box frozen chopped spinach, thawed
2 1/2 to 2 2/3 pounds ground turkey breast
1 medium onion, finely chopped
3 garlic cloves, chopped
1 large egg
1 3/4 cups milk
3/4 cup bread crumbs (3 handfuls)
1/2 cup freshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese (2 generous handfuls)
Coarse salt and freshly ground pepper
Extra-virgin olive oil (EVOO), for drizzling
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 cup chicken broth
One 8-ounce package shredded provolone cheese or Italian cheese blend
1/2 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg (eyeball it)
1/4 cup chopped flat-leaf parsley

Directions
1. Preheat the oven to 400°. Wring the spinach dry in a clean kitchen towel. Place the ground turkey in a large bowl and make a well in the middle of the turkey. Add the spinach, half of the onion, the garlic, the egg, 1/4 cup of the milk, the bread crumbs and the Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese and season with salt and pepper. Mix until combined, then form the turkey mixture into 12 large balls, arrange on a nonstick baking sheet and drizzle with EVOO. Roast for 25 minutes.
2. Meanwhile, heat a small saucepan over medium heat. Add a drizzle of EVOO and the butter to the pan. Melt the butter, add the remaining onion and cook for 2 minutes, then whisk in the flour. Cook for 1 minute, then whisk in the remaining 1 1/2 cups of milk and the broth. Bring the liquid to a boil, then stir in the provolone. Season the sauce to taste with salt, pepper and the nutmeg.
3. Place 3 turkey meatballs on each of 4 dinner plates and drizzle with the sauce; garnish with the parsley and serve.


Balsamic Potato and Green Bean Salad
Tara Bench
EIGHT SERVINGS
Prep Time: 10 min
Cook Time: 20 min

Ingredients:
1 ½ pounds small new potatoes
Salt
10 ounces green beans, trimmed and halved crosswise
2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
½ teaspoon sugar
¼ teaspoon Dijon mustard
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ cup extra-virgin olive oil
4 scallions, thinly sliced
2 teaspoons chopped fresh thyme, plus whole sprigs for garnish

Directions:
1. In a large saucepan, place the potatoes, 2 teaspoons salt and enough water to cover by 1 inch. Bring to a simmer and cook until the potatoes are tender, 12 to 15 minutes. Add the green beans and cook for 3 minutes. Drain and let stand.
2. Meanwhile, in a large bowl, combine the vinegar, lemon juice, sugar, mustard, pepper and 1 teaspoon salt. Whisk in the olive oil until combined.
3. Toss the potatoes and beans with the dressing to coat. Using a fork, mash several potatoes. Toss in the scallions and thyme. Season with more salt and pepper to taste and top with thyme sprigs. Serve warm or at room temperature.




Sounds good to me!!!

Off to grocery shop!

This might be fun

One word answers

Your hair? Up
Your mother? work-a-holic
Your father? stressed
Your favorite thing? chocoalte
Your dream last night? Pearl Jam
Your dream/goal? Teaching
Your favorite drink? Tea
The room you're in? Living
Your ex? none
Your hobby? scrapping
Your fear? cancer
Where do you want to be in 6 years? mothering
Where were you last night? In-laws
What you're not? pretty
Muffins? MMMM
One of your wish list items? house
Time? evening
Where you grew up? indiana
The last thing you did? dinner
Favorite weather? sunny
What are you wearing? pj's
Your favorite book? Sparks
Your TV? FoodNetwork
Your pet? Maverick
Your computer? laptop
Your mood? tired
Missing someone? the "real" me (s0rry...couldn't do one word this time)
Your car? messy
Something you're not wearing? socks
Favorite store? Michaels
Love someone? yes
Your favorite color/shade? yellow
Last thing you ate? chicken
Your life? boring
Your friends? awesome
What are you thinking right now? coldness
What are you doing at this moment? tv
Your summer: favorite
Your relationship status: married
What do you do when you can't sleep? internet
When is the last time you laughed? today
Last time you cried? today